Monday, 26 January 2015

Feelings about leaving school...

Today I was sat in my garden and I was thinking about how soon I was leaving school and for so long, I have been so excited and can't wait to leave but now that it is fast approaching, I am starting to get mixed emotions about it because going to school is all that I have ever known, not to mention the stress of exams!

Going to school is all that I can remember doing and it makes me anxious knowing that soon I will be leaving, as much as I am excited and can't wait to leave. I will be in the real world, earning real money, paying real bills and taxes. It is really scary to think that. It is weird that peoples lives begin properly at such a young age and they have so much responsibility and I don't know how I feel about it, like I can't even decide what top to wear or what to have for dinner let alone making life changing decisions.

I don't really have a plan for when I leave school which may seem strange but I have no idea what I want to do. Most people I know who are my age have a plan, at least for college or sixth form or something that will keep them busy for a year or 2 but I have no idea, everyone around me seems to have their lives planned and I'm sat here, writing a blog, not knowing where my life is going. I have lots of ambitions but lack of motivation and I don't want to attend sixth form, college or university because I don't like to learn in a classroom, I prefer to learn as I work which is when I considered an apprenticeship but I have no idea what I would do. I think I am going to apply for Sixth Form as a back up because if I don't find something that I want to do then I need to have something to fall back on, I'm not sure if I will do well at Sixth Form because I'm so unmotivated and I don't deal with exams or coursework because it makes me stressed and anxious.

So yeah, everything is confusing and scary at the moment and I really need to stop avoiding thinking about my plan for when I leave school but I don't want to bring myself to do it.

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