Friday, 23 January 2015

Who "saved" you?

People always talk about people and music that saved them but I have a different perception of who saved who. I believe that music and influential people don't save lives. They don't save people, they aren't capable of that. But I do believe that they influence people to save themselves. I always used to say "this band saved my life" but the truth is, they didn't. I was just quoting what I had heard other people say and it wasn't until recently that I realized that bands and celebrities don't save people just by being themselves and making music. People save themselves.

I have heard so many people say "this band stopped me self harming" but the truth is, the song might of influenced someone to not self harm but the truth is, no matter how much someone wants to say that it was the band or celebrity, it really was them, sure the band or celebrity may of given them the courage and the hope but they were the one that resisted, they put the blade or whatever away and they didn't do it. It wasn't the band, it was them.
People in that position don't want to acknowledge that they are capable of stopping themselves, they can't bring themselves to admit that they can stop themselves because they genuinely don't believe that they can so they want to pass it on to someone/something that is influential to them.

I know, now that I am out of that dark place, that no matter how much I claimed that a band or whatever saved me, the truth is that I saved myself, I was the one that stopped myself from destructing myself and now that I look back, I realize just how strong I was.

One day, it won't be over night but I hope that it will be soon, I hope that each and every person in that dark place will be able to say that they are in a better place and that they are happier. I want everyone to look back and realize what I realized, that I couldn't bring myself to believe that I was strong enough or capable of stopping myself so I made myself believe that it was a band or something that saved me when in reality, I saved myself but I couldn't admit it because I didn't see it.

I saved myself, with the help and support of my friends and family and possibly the influence of the music that I liked at the time but mainly it was me. I chose to stop, I chose not to end my life. I was the one that was brave and strong enough to stop myself, I didn't realize that at the time but looking back, I see that I did.

This is why it makes me sad when people claim that famous people "saved" them because I know that they didn't. The person saved them self but they aren't in a good enough place to realize it.

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