Friday, 6 February 2015

One of those weeks...

I am in a much better place than I was a while ago but I still have those days, usually weeks, sometimes months where I get sad and I can't help it, it's just the way I am. My life is not bad, not compared to how it was before, but it's not perfect and that's okay because it's a part of me and I appreciate the way that it is now because of the way it was before, I am not completely happy but I'm not completely bad and I'm not sure how that is but I know that it is how I am feeling. There is only one more thing that needs to be dealt with and then I will be happy but that will take a long time and a lot of work but I believe that I am strong enough.

Everyone has those days, whether they are recovered, still in a dark place or even if they were fine all along... It is just a part of life and that's okay because it is normal. I just get sad, like most people, but sometimes I get quite sad and I don't understand why because everything is a lot better, I do try to be as positive and happy as I can and most of the time, I am happy but I still get those times when I feel sad. My life is so much better than it was and my mind set is so much better and I can think clearly about things and I feel like I talk about happiness, positivity and being better like everything is perfect, when the truth is, recovery, to me, is just feeling good a lot of the time but still having days where I feel sad but not nearly as much as I did a while ago.

People need to know that just because they are recovered, doesn't mean that there won't be any more days where you feel the way that you used to but the days that are better, that is what makes you know you are better, are great because I personally, have more motivation to do things, I can not be doing anything but I will still feel happy.

I know that I am better (apart from one thing that I need to have the right help with) because

  • I feel comfortable with the way that I look 
  • I feel happy
  • I am more positive 
  • I know that I am capable 
  • I can do things that I couldn't before
  • My grades at school are making progress 
  • People (professionals) have told me (when they have seen me round) that I look much better than I did when they were helping me 
  • The person I see at CAMHS has told me that I make a lot of progress
  • I can see that I have made a lot of progress. 
These are just some of the reasons, I have been going to CAMHS for years and without them, I really wouldn't be where I am today and I can't even express how grateful I am. I think that people who say that counselling doesn't work either didn't go for long enough (because a lot of places say that they are better after just a few months), didn't try hard enough, they didn't like the way that the person worked with them or they just didn't find counselling helpful.
From my personal experience, I used to hate going and I would try not to talk to them but then I decided to give it a go and I am so pleased that I did that because, that has made me a lot better.

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