Monday, 11 May 2015

First exam of 2015

So today I had my first exam in this summers exam season, I already had science, health and social care and business but for some strange reason they didn't feel as real as this one today did. It was SRS which I've had bad lessons in over the last few years (cover teaches, sometimes no teachers). 

To me, the thing that made it most real was because for years everyone has gone on about year 11 GCSEs and not the ones in year 10, I don't know why the year 10 ones were made to seem less important, perhaps it is because there is a chance to retake them this year but I'm not sure. 

I think that the exam went okay but I guess I'll find out on August results day which is kind of scary. A month tomorrow is my final exam which means that I have 4 weeks left, one of those is half term, another is study leave meaning that I have around 2 weeks left at school which is a very scary thought, it's hard to process because even my earliest memories are from school. 

School is all that I have ever known and what makes it worse is that I spent most of my school years wanting out but now that it is happening I'm not sure that I'm ready, it's even worse knowing that I have no idea what I want to do in the long run. I feel like I won't know what to do, I'll be in the real world. It's sad that I spent so long wanting to leave school instead of enjoying it while it lasted because I've always been lucky enough to be surrounded by friends at school. I've not been bullied (a little bit in primary school but nothing much) and for a long time school was my safe place and as soon as everything was getting better I just dreamt of leaving school when I should have been grateful for the education that I got because so many people don't get one. 

In reflection I know that I took school for granted during my last few years but I can't change that now and right now I'm just taking each day as it comes and enjoying school because it's really not that bad.
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