Saturday, 27 June 2015

The Next Chapter

Hello everyone!

So I guess there is a new chapter of my life beginning. The chapter where the girl gets the apprenticeship and is excited but nervous and overwhelmed and the feeling of leaving school isn't real. The chapter that goes on for ages (like the wait for exam results.)


I had an interview for an apprenticeship and I was offered a paid traineeship for up to 3 months to make sure that I like it before taking the apprenticeship and I agreed. It's in a private care home about a 50 minute walk away from my house. I have to be there for 7am on Wednesday 1st July and I'm scared, nervous and excited. This is the beginning of my career that I am building up.

I also opened a savings account that I cannot access until I am 18 so that I can start saving for a deposit so that I can get a mortgage. Yes, I know I'm 16 and already saving for a mortgage but I know what I want from my life and I aim to achieve it and I have goals set for when I reach certain ages (obviously, it's not like marriage and children but career stages and owning property and having a car and what not.)

So this is a big exciting, scary time of my life and I'm not sure if I'm ready yet but I'm going to give it my best shot and jump in with both feet and work hard. Because of starting the apprenticeship/traineeship I'm not going to be able to do the trauma therapy that CAMHS had planned weekly from now until September and if I'm honest, I'm relieved, I'm not ready and I don't want to do it but I don't have the heart to tell her because she has worked so hard with me and I have made progress but I'm really not ready and it overwhelms me and it's scary and I just want to forget. I don't want to remember the details, the bits that I do remember (that are not much because so much happened) are too much and I don't want to remember the rest.

Anyway, I'm anxiously awaiting Wednesday 1st July and results day (20th August.)

Speak soon,

Kea x
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