Sunday, 23 August 2015

GCSE Results Day

Hello everyone!

August 20th was my GCSE results day, I was so scared. 
I went in at 10am to get my envelope with my grades written on and I looked around and saw my whole year group standing there with all different emotions.

It was a strange feeling when I had the envelope, I wanted to open it when I got home so we walked out of school and got in the car but for some reason, I felt the urge to open it. I sat in the car in the car park with my Mum and little brother and I opened them, I was happy, sad, relieved, proud, scared, worried, horrified, nauseous and at the same time, I didn't know what to feel. 

I wasn't pleased with my results but I wasn't sad about them, I just felt in the middle. I don't want to say what my grades were but I did get 6 A*-C and 2 Ds and two others that I didn't do so well on but I don't want to have that published on the internet forever, this post is not about my grades. 

It feels as if my whole school like has been building up to this day and now the whole of my education has been evaluated and printed on a single A4 sheet of paper that I will have forever. It's a strange feeling. 

I didn't like school but I'm not completely relieved to have left. I had a lot of struggles throughout my school life (most of them outside of school) but they had an impact on me and my education which is why I wasn't feeling so great about my results because I know that I could have done better if I hadn't had so many stupid problems throughout my life and if I hadn't missed so much school. 

Primary School I loved, I was out of my house so I enjoyed it but I think that most people do anyway. Year 5 & 6 of Middle School was okay because I wasn't at home much, I did after school clubs and went to friends houses. 
Year 7 of middle school wasn't so good, I missed a lot of time (not my fault) and I missed a lot of important classes so that must have had a big impact, I don't remember much of School in year 7 because I was barely there. 
High School, at the beginning I was barely there and then for around a year I had 100% attendance. It got to Year 10 and I started having a one day off every other week for appointments and then by the time that Year 11 came around... I was having 1 day off a week plus any other days that I was too anxious/depressed to go in. I had days where I would just stay in bed because I felt so horrible. 

A lot of people would say that they regretted having so much time off but I don't because I felt so terrible and I would have felt worse at School. I wish that I hadn't had problems throughout my School life so that I could have had a better education but I feel as if I did okay, considering everything that has happened. 

Results can't be changed but you can change your attitude (if that was the problem) and if you're determined enough, you don't need good results to do well. 

Speak Soon,
Kea x
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